bloodpigs1

some thoughts.....

Reality is perception through the eye of a pin hole.

We are made in gods image. yes.
We are gods among men. no.
We are men among gods. no.
Mankind is god. yes.

To think there is a great daddy in the sky to look down on us and shake a fingure is infintial. As is to think we are anymore than a cell much less a mitocondria in our body in the true greater being/s. To expect us to understand our place or function in that being is to expect our liver cells to know how important they are to us, singularly, meaningless, togeather, very important. The best we can hope to do is inspire and be great togeather and enrich all we are in touch with to help our collective being, to strengthen us all.

Well, here's my weird little log o-o



11/2--> The girl in all red was bleeding cuz her dog was killing things. The more he attacked, the more she bled. It was very odd. =0 I had to look away before she talked to me Dx 
11/3--> Today, I saw wookies. xD  The chairs in the other room made sounds like chewbacca and for some reason I pictured them all chained up in the next room over.. and angry, and they wanted to destroy my test.. soo i was like SHIT I HAVE TO FINISH THIS TEST BEFORE THE WOOKIES GET IT .. so then I finished my test and it was weird lmao.. but like.. that wasn't that bad.  I'm sure there's still wookies in D108 though. That girl yesterday was working for the wookies.
11/4--> I'm in training, under the command of people working for Hitler. I don't know if it's a trick, they might be killing me o-o. The wookies are working for Hitler, but not the girl.  She's actually a secret the wookies have. Dx the mexicans are after me.
11/5--> I feel so in control. Like, I can hear and sense every emotion people are feeling.. But it's all being narrated in my head and it's unbearable >.< I wanna go out for a walk. I wanna be alone.
11/9--> I am dead,  i feel so gone. everything's moving around without me.
11/10--> Everything's evil... like, everything. and it's all eating at me.  I look at people, and their expressions shoot evil at me, into my heart, numbing my stomach.. little black figures jump from all these expressions and tell me to hate, and feel hated.  It made my foot twitch, a lot.  My heart raced too. I probably looked insane. xD.. 

i'm going to start logging all of my hallucinations.. cuz i've been having a lot of them and i forget what they are by the next day.  they're so fun xDDD like, i think i do it on purpose.  anthony was like "wait, there's dragons?" and then i really did, and it was so wicked cuz i was like omg lmao yeah i really am seeing dragons.. 
but i knew they weren't really there. so it's not like.. real.. i just have a crazy imagination i guess...  yet i somewhat think other people should be able to see this stuff too
so i don't know o_o i just know if i wanted to touch it, i couldn't. so hm..

I'm so afraid of my mind. What the fuck is going onnn.. Even pictures.. Everything is just getting to me too much. I'm light headed, and my heart's a hole.. Every scene I see gets my adrenaline going, and I'm so fucking happy. But I also can't stop thinking about suicide.  I'm so fucking confused!  It's like OMG THAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL<333 FUCK MY LIFE!!

WHAT is this SHIT.